When Somebody Questions My Islam.

I am very very clear on my beleifs, about my religion, especially since i read the translation of Quran..and i am always open to improvements. I know that i am not a perfect muslim, i know i have countless faults, but what i beleif in is that if my intention of doing something is okay, or that a single misperfection in performance of some farz happens, then it does not mean that my Allah is not going to accept it. It is totally His discreetion. and He knows how it is something that i am doing.

Had to share this because was just offering maghrib prayers and some room mate told me to wear my chaadar properly, as it was not somehow covering my wrist. Another one commented, she has got her own Islam.This genuinely broke my heart and in the middle of namaz it got me to deposit this to Allah that look what people are saying.Is my Islam different?? You know me.i am nothing and You have to now accept my prayers. It is Just You to whom my prayer is answerable. and i Know he accepts my prayers. beacuse He is Kinder and Loving than my imagination. He is closer than my Juglar so He knows me more than i know.Allah g,  accept my faraiz and nawafils. please. my every prayer. I love you please Love me too.

a thing for sufisim!

a thing for sufisim!.

a thing for sufisim!

Realized it a year and two back that i had a special thing for a particular aspect of life’s philosophy..i have difficulty accepting it because it becomes sort of a responsibility! at the same time it allows you to be free as a bird.after final professional exams, and starting even a year before that, i realized that i was restless. There would be depression, restlessness and anxiety without any obvious cause. Whatever i would do would not put my heart at peace..sometimes would wake up at night to find myself sleepless and anxious..asked myself again and again..on a moment of brethlessness from crying a sound came from somewhere inside, sort of a reply, ” mera dil karta hai mujhy khuda mil jaey” ( my heart wants to get the Lord/Allah) i did not know how it came, or what was it but somehow i started relating this feeling with the sufi poetry and songs..somehow those words started making sense to me..got me me how and why people behaved oddly when they listened to such stuff..and i wanted to be a part of it..i still dont know if i am or am not, but if it is a part or a piece of it, i want to be in it completely..its like a relation that is more of love than of fear! i think i want to write about it in future posts, because it is something that wants to get out! that needs to be shared, it is a sense of nothingness.Bekhudi!Yes that is the word for it and now i know what it truly means..